It’s important to have difficult conversations, so why do we avoid them? We avoid difficult conversations for many reasons—we don’t want to make matters worse, we fear we’ll be attacked back, we don’t want to be mean, and so on.
It’s natural to dread difficult conversations. However, the truth is that when we treat each other with respect, the conversations are rarely as difficult as we expect. When we avoid difficult conversations, the problem never has a chance to be solved. Plus, as we play the stories over and over in our mind, they get louder and the people in the stories become bigger and bigger bad guys.
When we take part in difficult conversations, we have an opportunity to build trust and respect. We also learn we can challenge each other without fear, which means our relationships with other people and organizations improve greatly. When we take part in difficult conversations, we show we care enough to bother and respect creativity and other people’s opinions/experiences/education. We realize we might have missed something if we had not discussed it with someone else—(two minds are better than one). This can build confidence in ourselves and our relationships, and create trust and respect.
So how to prepare for and have difficult conversations? Overall, stay positive, listen carefully, be kind (don’t attack), and do not be defensive(自卫的). Difficult conversations are rarely bad situations unless we make them that way. Get clear on your purpose—make sure your purpose is not about teaching others a lesson. If you get emotional(情绪激动的), heated and off topic, then it’s likely that they will also get emotional.
Having difficult conversations is important to healthy relationships. So don’t avoid having difficult conversations. And finally, be comfortable being uncomfortable. Yes, difficult conversations will be uncomfortable. But your purposes are good and you are willing to be uncomfortable for the benefit of the person, the relationship and / or the company.
【解题导语】 我们倾向于避免艰难对话，但是进行艰难对话有很多好处，我们不应该逃避。
1．Which of the following statements would the author agree with?
A．Difficult conversations often make things worse.
B．Difficult conversations should be avoided at times.
C．It’s not that difficult to have difficult conversations.
D．We often avoid difficult conversations for no reason.
C 解析：推理判断题。根据第二段的．..when we treat each other with respect, the conversations are rarely as difficult as we expect. 可知，作者认为进行艰难对话其实并没有那么难。
2．What does the underlined word “dread” in Paragraph 2 mean?
A．Fear. B．Start.
C．Follow. D．Improve.
A 解析：词义猜测题。根据第一段的we don’t want to make matters worse...and so on可知，这里是指“害怕”艰难对话是很自然的事。
3．According to the author, what should we do when having a difficult conversation?
A．Get others emotional when necessary.
B．Stop once we feel uncomfortable.
C．Control our negative emotions.
D．Try to be defensive.
C 解析：细节理解题。根据第四段的If you get emotional(情绪激动的), heated and off topic, then it’s likely that they will also get emotional.可知，我们应该控制好我们的情绪。
4．What’s the author’s purpose in writing the text?
A．To encourage us to have good purposes.
B．To explain why difficult conversations are good.
C．To encourage us not to avoid difficult conversations.
D．To explain why people avoid difficult conversations.
C 解析：写作意图题。根据末段的Having difficult conversations is important to healthy relationships. So don’t avoid having difficult conversations. 可知，作者是想鼓励我们不要避免艰难对话。
ily: "Times New Roman";mso-bidi-font-family:MingLiU_HKSCS;color:black;mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt;mso-ansi-language:EN-US;mso-fareast-language:ZH-CN;mso-bidi-language: AR-SA'>，真正的朋友不在乎彼此的缺陷。
