A
Family fights are never pleasant. Whether you are dealing with a loud sister or a stubborn mom or dad, the situation can be bad. At least that’s what we have learned to expect.
What if it could be different? What if family fights and conflicts could be turned into opportunities to become closer? What if problems could be solved with everyone walking away feeling more deeply cared for and loved?
Family fighting is, on one level, about power. Someone is telling someone else what to do. In a short moment, emotions can be brought out and the fight is on. You can go down that old road or you can try something different.
In any fight, you have a need to be listened to and understood. People raise their voices and shout at each other because they’re not being listened to. It’s totally unconscious. You want your mom or dad to listen and understand. But you always seem to forget the person you’re fighting with has the same need to be listened to. So if you can put aside your need for a few minutes, the situation will change quickly. Give the other person some time to express his or her feelings, and you will earn your turn to be listened to.
And while you are listening, you have to listen for the right information. The best way to do this in emotional situations is to forget most of the words because many people can’t express what they are feeling with words alone, especially when they are upset.
But if the situation starts to get out of hand, it would be wise to just calm down and leave the problem until later because many fights happen at the wrong time. The situation will die down quickly, usually in less than 30 seconds. You can either move on to problem solving or reach an agreement to work on it at a better time.
This way, everyone will feel respected and listened to, even when there is conflict. Emotions will be understood and respected, and it will bring your family closer together.
1．From the first 3 paragraphs, we can conclude that ______.
A．people had better avoid family fights.
B．family members fight to control each other
C．family fights can be changed into something positive
D．when family members fight, it’s worse as they know each other’s weakness
2．In the author’s opinion, the key to dealing with family fights is to ______.
A．satisfy the need to be listened to first
B．make sure that you’re the first to be listened to
C．pay no attention to what others say in emotional situations
D．stop quarrelling when you feel you are giving orders
3．When the situation gets out of control, it’s best to ______.
A．wait for a suitable moment to speak B．let the other person express their feelings
C．work on a written agreement first D．move on to problem solving
